Their is bad taste in this world, and then their is James Taylor. Nothing will turn me from a nice-positive-happy person to a snarky-negative-hate-machine faster than that man. Why James Taylor? Why not the crop of other terrible sappy mid-70's singer-songwriter folk? Because James Taylor just knew how to make his music perfectly soul less. The next time you listen to one of his songs, ask yourself a question. Is anything happening right now? Musically, lyrically? He is usually singing about doing something or going somewhere. He's seen some things. Carolina is on his mind.
Their is absolutely nothing interesting about James Taylor. At all. I would like to use a word like neutered, but I don't think the testicles were ever there to do it. His liking of the Red Sox is the least offensive thing about him. This is starting to turn petty and crass. But this is what happens when I start to think about this yuppie cowboy. Let's put a back story to all this bile that
I have unleashed.
In my early twenties I worked at a now defunct drug store called Longs Drugs in Encinitas, Califorina. I would spent my nights facing shelves and stocking various items. If you have ever worked at any retail store that required you to face the shelves every night then you know what I'm talking about. Every workday you spent part of it going up and down the aisles facing everything forward. Picking up items that have fallen behind, arrange everything that has been mixed, etc. When you came back the next day everything was a mess again. You curse the patrons who came in while you were home sleeping after a long night of Mickey's, blunts, and burritos after work. You go at it again and do the same thing night. It was tedious,boring, and soul sucking. Or was it the the huge florescent lights that felt like they were draining your life force? Anyways, the soundtrack to this retail purgatory was our trusty Muzak box. Muzak for those who don't know is the biggest company that sells these boxes that pump the music into your local store, while you shop hoping to tune it out.
For some reason our store's playlist (which never changed) had more songs by James Taylor than anyone else. All the ones you know and a few you didn't but now sadly do. It's a Saturday night and your facing the tampons for the 5th time this week. Christ you think, are all the women in Encinitas on their period? You get some texts from friends extolling all the fun they are having and the location of this fun. But your stuck. You got a heavy flow of James Taylor coming out of the speakers and your ready. Ready to stock aisle 7 where the kitchen knifes are to get Carolina out of your mind.
Wheelhouse.